Eat My Shorts
May 6, 2009
Yesterday. whilst working. a dog ate my shorts.
No, really. Six people filmed it on their phones. I was just going about my business at Rock-it, stood up, a small terrier decided that he wanted to eat my shorts. So he did. He didn’t bite me. but it was eight minutes of him ripping my clothes off. Thats never happened to me before.
In five days time it’ll be on YouTube.. be patient. Just Google Jon Fat Beast dog shorts ripped off. My life just gets stranger and stranger..
Life.
May 6, 2009
Life. Dont talk to me about life. Yesterday we had two lovely young women come into the queens. Both lesbians. I am a girl so i sort of understand. The reason they came here was because of this wonderful website. Hidden in the archives of these pages one week I told the story of loads of our macho big blokes that stand at the end of the bar and swear for england, deciding they wanted to form a gay club. I wrote about it and because it’s now on the internet, if you google “BRIDLINGTON GAY CLUBS” we come up.
We are officially the gayest place on the north coast… it doesn`t half piss Ben off..
funny old april fools day
April 1, 2009
Nobody played any April Fools on me today but it bloody felt like it.Fuck did it feel like it. Firstly last Night Jojo the Dog my Faithful stupid fat old hound decided he was going to be really poorly. all after midnight, he didn`t sleep on the bed for the first time in five years, I was up half the night on the bloody floor making sure he was ok. I took him out three times between 2am and 6am I really thought at 13 he`d bought the farm. I went to sleep at 7am had horrible dreams about missing my own wedding through a manic series of incidents which were not my fault and awoke at 11am in a cold sweat shaking. The dog was still on the floor but alive and well and had decided in the period i was asleep to empty one of the bins looking for pop tarts or whatever daft dogs look for in bins. he was fine thank god. Three bills I`ve paid fell through the letterbox and I got a text from Captain Cash at the Penguin telling me that the Hacking on this site was unrepairable. None of them April Fools. All just Shit Bloody life throwing its nonsense in my direction again. God if you exist I fucking hate you.
isnt the internit a wonderful tool
March 27, 2009
This morning i have been talking to Thom Yorke from Radiohead. after 20 years of not speaking to him. we fell out. but we are friends again. isnt the internit a wonderful tool. and so am I.
THE GLASGOW ROLLER GIRLS
March 27, 2009
Ben the Dreamer
March 23, 2009
Ben my best friend had a really bad nightmare last night. He woke up covered in sweat and stuff. He had been taken at knife point from his pub to a bank tied up with his bank manager then the dream moved to him coming back to the pub and there was a civic reception going on and I was presented with the keys to the city by the mayor for doing nothing apart from being here when he wasnt. He just gets stranger.
Nu Rave
March 21, 2009
nu rave is big in Bridlington. I have been asked to find some nu rave bands. I have no idea what nu rave is. Old rave used to be thumpy repetative beats that only idiots fuelled on twelve tabs of ecstasy in bad clothing danced to in stinky warehouses or cow shit ridden fields. but nu rave is apparently completely different. How. nobody can explain. they can tell me what it isn`t. Its not Rap. its not Garage. its not old school. its played by youngsters in hip Manchester and New York clubs. please enlighten me.
Saturday nights alright for punching Elton John in the head
December 6, 2008
Nearly eight o clock. we`re running well late. Theres a hundred bored emo metal kids waiting around and Soundchecks are delayed by an eon because SHADOWS CHASING GHOSTS tonights main act came up from London, had to pick a guitarist up from Newcastle then back to sunny Bridlington. Got here late, after the gig they go back to Newcastle, drop off a guitarist then drive back to London for work in the morning. Dedication for you. Big respect to James and the East Coast Collective they really have their finger on the pulse. Anyhow there are three support acts, all on tours of their own, so we have major equipment overload in the hall. James will deal with it. Looks like we might have no beer for sunday. Hey ho.
4.30am saturday morning
December 6, 2008
Fuck. Fuck its so late. I have been at work for 18 hours. we just put Kirk Brandon to bed. Brilliant man. Proper full on pissed. Jeez. Great set great. night. You cant buy this sort of feeling. i got to spend from 4pm with one of my heroes and I ended up putting him to bed. ho hum. Gonna take my dog out, feed him and sleep a few hours and god we have another huge gig tonight. Yo yo yiggedy yo. I am going to pay for this so much in the morning. but as I say these nights really cant be made up…FULL REVIEW in a few days.
KIRK BRANDON GIG AT Rock-iT WILL SELL OUT SOON
December 1, 2008
If you want a £4 ticket for this Friday dec 5th please call 07974555183 as soon as possible.
More Local News.
I must leave Kaleigh Varleys Breasts alone when I am drunk. She is only 20 for god sake. I am sorry sweetie but you do encourage me.And lets be Honest you are such a babe that people dont need much encouraging.
Business Reviews
BUSINESS REVIEW. This Week Bridlington Old Town Pubs.THE QUEENS HOTEL High Street Old Town Bridlington. Reviewed by MAD GAZZA and his OWLS Way ay, I landed a canny job here like. The Bridlington Penguin has asked me,... Read more »
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