Pipex Homecall - Incompetant Buffoons!
December 17, 2008
Yeah yeah, I know this isn’t the place but the frustration I’ve been suffering over the last three days means you’ll have to suffer it too.
Essentially, if you want a communications company that doesn’t have a bunch of half-wit johhny foreigners based in Manilla that can do no more than read in broken English from a script that seems specifically designed to really fuck with your head, use Pipex.
You can ring all sorts of numbers - 0871 574 4444 and 0871 6633 300 to name two, (both at prime fucking rate no doubt) and you WILL want to kill yourself within a few minutes. It’s a shame I cant type what a Philippino accent sounds like - but it IS designed to really fuck you off.
And they can only say things like “I understand Sir” but still totally fail to resolve any kind of problem.
In addition, (and remember Pipex is supposed to be a communications outfit) they cannot transfer you to anyone either in charge or in another department.
The incompetance is utterly astounding.
And all they had to do is remove the pre carrier signal from my line and return my calls to BT. A job they right royally fucked up. Now, when trying to dial out all I get is “You are trying to access a service to which you are not subscribed”. I know I’m not fucking subscribed you bunch of twats - I closed the account!
So, no help from the cancellations line. No help from the Technical help line (You just get put through to Broadband ‘Support’) and no help from anyone even approaching British descent.
Calling All Postmen
June 12, 2008
Well, not all postemen, just the ones in a huddle discussing this website the other day (yes, we have spies everywhere).
We like the fact you can find time to discuss the merits of the Bridlington Penguin, but don’t you have some letters to rip open and read before you deliver them to us?
Tramps in the Street
May 21, 2008
There I am, walking along the main street in Lincoln, minding my own business, when this lanky streak of piss with a skinhead haircut and a platted ponytail, holding a clipboard and dressed like Worzal Gummage calls out “Hello there, you with the happy face”. He meant me. I shook my head, said no thanks, but he continued…. “Can I have a minute of your time?”…. “NO” I replied again, firmly. “Nicely clipped sideburns” was his reply…
What the fuck is that about? Why do these people think I want to talk to them? Why do the companies that employ them make sure they look at least remotely human? Did he really think I would give him anything other than a single fingered salute?
Well, he was sadly dissappointed.
I wish now I’d nutted the scruffy cunt.
New Parking Regulations
May 16, 2008
Well, May 12th has come and gone and our fair town is awash with flourecent jacketed ‘Parking Enforcement Officers’.
Now, I’m not adverse to parking tickets as such, but yesterday I saw three, yes THREE of these new little Hitlers handing out one ticket. They stood for a while, had a chat, tried to decide how to proceed before one of them decided to actually do what he’s paid for and wrote the ticket out. No problem, the car was parked in a stupid place, it was on double yellows and deserved the £70 ticket it got.
My problem is with the incident requiring three ‘officers’ to deal with it. Are they scared to patrol alone? Do they think they’re going to get their fucking heads kicked in if they patrol without their buddies? Who can tell.
All I know is that they should grow some balls if they’re going to do that job.
And, as an afterthought - why don’t we have triple yellow lines - where all those fuckers pretending to be disabled can’t park. So what if the real disabled can’t park there either, there’s enough provision for those in normal car parks.
This Fucking Website
May 10, 2008
The more observant of you may have realised I’m the one that types all this shit up, administers the site and generally tries to make sure it all makes sense in some weird kind of way.
Yesterday the old site decided to have a heart attack and fall over. No matter I thought - back-ups at the ready, I’ll just restore it. Looked ok to begin with until I started looking closely. The fucking back up had lost random parts of posts - oh fucking joy.
The upshot of that is I’ll be spending most of the weekend re-typing lots of stuff instead of hosting barbeques in my the leafy suburbs and watching the F1 race from Istanbul.
Marvellous.
The Apprentice
May 8, 2008
I made time in my busy schedule last night to watch ‘The Apprentice’
What a bunch of twats. Every last one of them. Except maybe the Indian girl. She’s cute and fit, which goes some way to making up for her stupidity.
‘Sir Alan’ must sit there and wonder how these morons managed to get on the show. Personally, I wouldn’t employ any of them. If they’re supposed to be the cream of British business, it’s no wonder the country has gone to the dogs.
Here’s my assessment -
The Good Jewish Boy - Wanker,
The Ginger Minger (now evicted) - Stupid arrogant Bitch with a chin the size of Finland
The Irish Bird - clueless
The other bloke who never shaves - Total Arsehole
The Porky Bird - Think’s shes it but clearly isn’t.
Zara - Hmmmm… I’d do her.
Snooker? No, let’s watch porn.
May 2, 2008
So, no sooner have I made my first post than a gold plated story walks into the shop.
Sitting here watching Hendry getting his ass whooped when in walks a shifty looking
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