MOVING TO MARS SEPT 24th MISSION STATEMENT
September 24, 2008
Many of you have written in to our Mission HQ here in Bridlington, expressing doubts over not only on the sincerity of our mission but also the feasibility of launching a rocket to the red planet with 200 people on board . We fully understand there will be hurdles to climb, Mountains to jump, but we will take each problem as it arises and worry about it then. We will go into details in our next mission statement, but below we outline our updated list of items needed, and further on we say Thank You to some of the companys and individuals who have already donated essential items.
OUR MARS MISSION UPDATED LIST OF ITEMS WE MIGHT NEED.
RAINCOATS well since our first communication Top Scientists have found water on mars, and you cant be too careful.
- A LARGE FISH TANK
SOME SMALLER FISH
44 ORANGE BLANKETS
A COLLECTION OF DEAN KOONTZ NOVELS not “The Husband” i`ve already got that one
299 LITRES OF BABYBIO
A COLLECTION OF UP TO DATE STAR CHARTS
BANANAS any quantity ,we can freeze dry them, probably.
A FREEZE DRYING MACHINE WITH INSTRUCTIONS IN ENGLISH
POKEMON CARDS AND KIDS TOYS not with any lead in them or small bits that might fall off and choke children, or dogs.
SOLAR PANELS we think we will still be able to see the sun from mars but we are currently calibrating our instruments to confirm.
BUNJEE JUMPING EQUIPMENT
SUITCASES waterproof and red sand proof
MORE DOG FOOD AND CHEWS
WIND CHIMES.
KITES for experiments
TEST TUBES, BUNSEN BURNERS AND OTHER SCIENCE STUFF we really should do some scientific research before we go
PORTABLE DVD PLAYER boxed
DOG CAGES for dogs
CUTLERY
AN IRON
IRONING BOARD
OVEN CLEANER PADS
BLEACH at least ten bottles, NOTE Not Tesco Value Bleach please, you can drink that stuff but it cleans nothing
A LARGE PLASMA TELEVISION
FREEVIEW BOX
GOLF CLUBS slazenger preferably
A FIRST AID KIT
ADVERTISMENT
Under New Ownership PARKROSE BIRD OF PREY PET AND AQUATIC CENTRE, Carnaby.
“Come and see our Owls, we`ve got hundreds of the cunts!”
Open Daily FREE ENTRY
THANK YOU to all the individuals and companys mentioned below for their belief in the project and their generosity for donating the items mentioned.Keep Them Coming. With your help we will be on Mars by the year 2011
BRIDLINGTON LEISURE WORLD 3 large yellow inflatable “Do Nut” rings
YORKSHIRE COAST CARAVANS a 2nd hand gas powered fridge and a box of tent pegs
THE CO OP HUNMANBY 32 packs of out of date FAIRTRADE tea bags
THE QUIDZ IN POUND SHOP a large box of 2008 diarys
UTOPIA LUXE BAR custard
EAST COAST TRAVEL free coach travel to the launch site. Bookings permitting
SKIPSEA SANDS 2 weeks off peak caravan hire for a family of 9
LANGTONS OPTICIANS 50 pairs of assorted 2nd hand glasses in pouches with wipes
THE BED WAREHOUSE, STATION APPROACH a hammock
EDEN MOBILITY Use of a motorised wheelchair for the complete duration of our stay on Mars
THE PAVILLION BAR jelly
THE PRIORY GALLERY the wheels from a 1993 Ford metro Kensington
THE TIGER INN BEEFORD out of date bar snacks
LIBERTYS sponge cake
SPENCERS AUCTIONS an etch a sketch
THE OLDE GLOBE INN a piano
MORRISONS some old hats.
THANK YOU TO YOU ALL. Keep those Donations coming. we have use of a Transit van and can pick up, items on tuesdays
Moving To Mars
May 14, 2008
The World is doomed. The end is nigh. The tide is high and we’re moving on. I, Professor Angelo Dieghton and my partner Dr. Hayden Philips are concerned. For years, the pack ice at the pole has been melting and the seas polluted beyond repair. The creatures are dying, man has become virtually impotent, his sperm count dwindling, his brain back peddling into oblivion.
We aim to challenge this crisis of crisis’ head on. We aim to leave this dead earth, moving into space and the limitless boundaries beyond. We have a plan but are still to raise the resources . This is where all of you come into the equation. We need to raise the funds through corporate sponsorship and grants. We are confident we will have all the monies in place before the planned mass evacuation to the red planet early in 2011.
leaving behind the poverty and degredation, leaving behind the weak and the dangerous, leaving behind the oncoming armageddon and the death of Planet Earth.
On a happier note, Hayden and I are getting married on the 8th June, our cat Nibbles has had a litter of twelve kittens, and I’ve had a pay rise from my part-time seasonal employment as a ‘Land Train’ driver for Bridlington Council.
We have prepared a provisional list of items which would become useful on our long space voyage and our eventual arrival and colonisation of Mars. It would be a great help to our mission if we could start collecting some of these items, ideally donated by your good people, and begin storing them in our shed and back room in our rented flat in Bridlington Old Town. From little acorns, might oak trees grow. Hayden and I will also be frequenting numerous car boot sales and government auctions in the coming months, adding essential space faring equipment to that which you have donated.
We would also welcome your input and ideas. This is a new and exciting adventure for all of us and any space expertise that you might have would be welcome. Indeed most welcome as to be honest.
My fiance Hayden trained asnd practiced as an Oesteopath and for my sins, I am an ex childrens dentist. We are a bit flummoxed by the whole concept of space travel and this is guaranteed to be a tough learning curve for all of us. Hayden and myself even more so.
Attached to this section will be a sub-section with the wish list and current stock list of all the equipment we will be purchasing and will have had donated. If you are kind enough to donate, your generosity will be rewarded with a mention on this site and, for the very lucky ones, maybe a place on the crew of the Bridlington Mars Explorer Space Shuttle. (Working Title)
Please check the sub-section now to see where we’re at. There’s a shortcut to it HERE
Prof. Angelo Deighton.
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