Party at The Atlantis Hotel
September 28, 2008
Decided to get away for a bit. Me accountant makes sure I spend most of the year out of Britain so I don`t pay Gordon Brown any tax. Clever eh. Most of me company’s are registered off shore and me bank accounts are tucked away in Switzerland and Jersey. I aint stupid The treasury aint gettin a bean off me. Danny Dot Com aint no freakin` charity. Got my Lear jet to drop me in Dubai, got a party to go to. Sheik something or other invited me cos I made it clear in the press how much I hated that Arab who bought Man City out. He`s from neighboring Abu Dhabi. They freakin hate each other. I just go where the money is, and a week long stay at this new Atlantis Hotel off the Dubai coast is right up my street. Got a big opening party for all us VIPs at the weekend, Got yer Beckhams, yer Schumachers, yer Bernie Eccleston, James Blunt they`re all coming. Might do some serious networking. I can smell an opportunity a freakin mile off.
Me seven star room has six bathrooms. eight King size beds, twelve mini bars, the curtains are Gold Plated and the freakin Corby Trouser press is diamond encrusted. Gonna get me Hot tub filled with Moet and invite a load of them F1 bunnies and The Pussycat Dolls up for a shag. The View`s top, its 400 foot up on this freakin Man made island I can see for miles. Only sea mind but its still a view. They got freakin Dolphins in the foyer fountain. Fifty of em doin` tricks an jumpin` through hoops, the lot.
Goin` for a cocktail with that Jack Osbourne, don`t know much about him really but apparently his mums minted and his dads a pop star. Gotta be worth swapping numbers with.
Anyway, tell you about it next time.
Island Buying.
June 4, 2008
Well, the rumours ’round town are rife that I’m starting a lapdancing club in the area. I’m not, but I like the rumours. Will see if the owner wants to borrow a few girls.
I’m seriously thinking of buying an island, like that Branson dude. Y’know, palm trees, beaches, tigers, whatever. I’m gonna get my lawyers to look into it. Could be a great tax dodge. Plus, I could transfer my assets off shore.
Got the ‘net on. Sark’s for sale. Where the fuck’s that? Not in the fuckin’ Med, that’s for sure. Apparently it’s got sheep, a manor house and a toilet. No tigers. I’m sure there won’t be tigers. There certainly wouldn’t be any sheep if there was. Nah, Sark’s not right.
Looks bloody cold in the pictures as well. And bleak. The trees are definitely not palm trees. Looks more like gorse.
Nah, I want sun, sand and sex. And tigers. They’re building this fuck off map of the world out of man made islands off the Dubai coast apparently. I looked on the web and it looks awesome. Sweden’s still up for sale, and most of Nova Scotia. I think that’s in Canada. Could be Scotland, my geography aint never been that hot. Got lawyers to do that stuff. And a sat-nav.
Yeah, it looks well cool. Will get my boys to find out prices.
I’m not boasting, but…
May 27, 2008
Hi, Danny here.
Rich and proud with a huge cock. Form a queue behind Pais Hilton, girls.
Moved into a bachelor pad penthouse suite on the foreshore in Bridlington. Me mam used to bring me here for holidays before I became super rich. Thought I’d give some back to the community.
So, I bought up 26 local flats and rented them out to all the local druggie scum on the dole. Get eighty quid a flat, one shared toilet between 26 of them. Cashing it in. Benefit gets paid direct from the Council into my bank account. Don’t care if they stuff smack into their anus as long as I get their nesh.
Getting a helicopter pad installed on the roof garden and knocking down an old peoples home to house my collection of extreme sports cars.
Invested a few million in a few choice shops at Hornsea Outlet Village and just bought Sledmere House. Might just turn that into a spa and beauty resort. It’s chock full of old furniture. Might have a big fuck off bonfire to get rid of it. Replace all those tatty old rugs with laminate flooring and crush up the statues for hardcore or a rockery. Can’t abide old things.
Put me Mum in a home and she was only 38.
I’m always on the lookout for investment opportunities. I make money like other people make enemies. Turned nearly sixty million by the time I was twenty four. Chicken feed. I set up grassupafriend.com and shagalocalreaderswife.co.uk, made a mint. I’ve got 0898 I suck your cock you masturbating loser phonelines by the hundred, and I own most of ZOO tv and well over 30 internet porn channels now. I make money out of your misery.
Got forty old slappers in a warehouse in Hull talking dirty to sad cunts at £1.50 a minute. Easy money.
Got a lapdancing club in Scunny which turns 80 grand profit a week, no questions asked, anything goes. Mainly Polish and Romanian girls in my sex clubs in East Anglia and I’m looking into buying into a few football clubs in the North East. Spread your money around and it confuses the tax man. My accountants a fucking top bloke, saved me a fortune.
Next week I’ll tell you my investment ideas for the local area. It involves knocking down the Council offices to make a Super-Pub and tarmacking over the Wolds to form a huge car park for the new East Riding Airport.
Danny S
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